Dear Aunty Tina,
It's been a year since your passing and what a year it has been. It hurts everyday knowing I never got the chance to say goodbye to you and it still does not resonate that you're gone because the only prominent picture in my head is of you smiling.
November is the hardest month for me and it feels like I relive that awful day when I got that phone call saying you had died, everyday. This year; where do I start? Hmmm, it has been an eye opener for me but I'll be honest with you. I wish I could tell you that it's been a smooth ride, I wish I could tell you that everyone's getting along just fine and the world has become a better place but the sad reality is none of these things are true. Since you left, nothing has changed. It's still a cold, cold world and people are still terrible. The grass isn't greener, people aren't kinder, it seems the only time anyone shows you any love is when you're dead and can't receive it, and sometimes I even wish I was with you and away from all the sadness this world has to offer.
However, I keep telling myself that there's so much more to live for and that I can do it. I feel selfish for wanting to not be here when I have the choice of living that you didn't. I miss your kind soul, your loving nature and your beautiful smile. It's hard to make peace with the fact that I didn't see or hear your voice one last time but you left a little replica of yourself and a reminder that you'll always live on. There's so much that I want to write and say but I must stop now. I hope the pain you went through has finally ended and you're happy up there. You are loved, and you are remembered. Take care aunty Tina x.
Love forever,
Laura
19-11-16
